Two weeks ago I started this journal to record my experiences with the burst of energy experience that I have recently been living. There have been some changes since then and now I have moved to a different place.
Few readers that have been through similar experiences contacted me and gave me some very interesting tips and reassured me about the process and that is all for good. I am deeply grateful and I have put some of those tips in practice and I will share here what have worked for me.
So where am I now in my process? although I cannot say exactly what is going on at the energy level, I have noticed some very clear changes in the last 2 weeks:
In addition to the things that I wrote in week 5, here is a list of what seems to have worked for me to bring the energy down and have helped me to "come back":
I am very glad to be back in my body after this intense energy experience, however I cannot shout victory as most of what I read points towards a cyclic experience: the energy comes and goes and it comes back to teach us an important lesson when it is needed!
Thank you for reading and sharing this article with whoever you know is interested, has already had a similar experience or is in the process of it.
With love and gratitude
Othman Haddad (Otto) - 27/01/2014
I have decided to start this journal because I want to share with the world what I am living right here and now and maybe demystify a lot of what we think about what is called ‘Kundalini’. I don’t want to give my experience a label but it is easier to talk about it here if we name without attaching to it.
I am also writing this because I do not want to feel isolated and maybe somebody is living a similar burst of energy somewhere on the planet and we can help and support each other!
5 weeks ago when I was meditating I felt a very strong pain in the base of my spine and then was overwhelmed with heat and very strong energy that I never felt before which went straight up to my head.
I felt dizzy and scared and immediately stopped meditating. My body felt very weak and I went straight to bed. I woke up few hours later very tired and couldn’t do anything for the day.
Since that day I have been having episodes of energy bursts going from mild to very strong. When they happen I have a string pain in my solar plexus then it takes my lungs, middle back, neck and then I completely space out. Sometimes I lose complete sense of time and place and I just want to sleep right where I am.
I spent many nights without being able to sleep with intense episodes of energy running through me and literally moving my muscles and neck with intense pain in the solar plexus and upper-back.
My body has been hot most of the time and it becomes even hotter when I have those episodes of energy bursts.
I spent the first 3 weeks very scared and could not understand and figure out the meaning of what was happening to me and why. I have been doing Yoga for quite a long time and I am generally healthy and fit but I did not discard the possibility of something missing in my diet. I have been vegetarian for few years and I never felt the need for any meat or animal protein as I am convinced that the overconsumption of animal protein has nothing to do with health but with financial interest of few people but that is a different subject that I will not go into here.
I analysed my voice to see if I could find anything lacking on the physical level or if there any dysfunction of glands or organs but could not find any. Usually the voice analysis would show me anything unusual in my system nut not this time. I could only find tension in the muscles of my upper back and neck. I concluded that there is something more to it and it is more likely to be a presence of a sudden strong energy.
It happens that my wife is a Yoga teacher and that she has some knowledge of Kundalini and she suggested to contact her very kind teacher who put me in contact with somebody who directly experienced something similar many years ago.
Speaking with that lady who had the very strong energy rising, I understood that although my experience is not exactly the same as hers, we had few things in common:
· Strong intuition
· Lost of time and space when the energy bursts
· Cyclical episodes of energy
· Warm hands and feet even if we are outside in the cold
· Pain in the upper body
She kindly told me few tips that I quickly put in practice and verified that they help a lot:
· Grounding is very important because that energy as to discharge in the earth. So long walks in nature, contact with earth and trees and f possible bare-foot, although this is not easy to do in the wintery wet London
· Eating meat helps to feel right here and right now and brings the energy down, Perhaps that is why most spiritual seekers of energy rising are vegetarians when they go in intensive meditation retreats. I can’t even explain how painful was to eat meat for me as a vegetarian but it truly helps every time to bring the energy down from my head!
· Rest a lot and reduce sessions with clients. So I started to work less and canalize my intuition more efficiently with fewer clients. The Results are good for me and for them.
· Avoid any energetic work like meditation or Kundalini Yoga or Breath work. This is not easy for me because I am a Sound Therapist and Sound awakens that energy in me after my sessions almost every time. I found out that grounding and resting before and after my sessions help a lot to minimalize the movement of energy.
I also discovered that a friend had an energy rising when he was a teenager and he gave me additional tips which really help as well. A great meditation teacher confirmed those tips and added some to the list:
· Cold is very effective for calming the energy. As soon as I feel the pain in my solar plexus and I start having a shallow breath, I put my hands under running freezing water, take off most of my cloths. I would have never imagined wearing only ti-shirt and light cloths in the cold as usually I shiver at anything less than 15 degrees Celcius.
· Having black stones/crystals with me like Tamerlane help to absorb that energy and transmute it.
· Very important to drink a lot of water during the day
· Externalizing that energy in form of vomiting or spiting helps but I did not find that very practical to do!
· Surrendering to the experience and relaxing to it makes it much easier to bear.
· I haven’t tried B supplements yet as apparently they will help me to process that energy. I will tell you more about it when I try.
This is not the first time that I have lived a strong energy experience but it is certainly the strongest.
Four years earlier I had another strong burst of energy but it was completely a different experience. It was a sudden awakening to the present moment after reading the 3rd page of “the power of now”. I spent 2 months in total presence and bliss and loved every moment of it, then whatever it was it left me and came back on “earth” again.
I never looked for any spiritual practices before this sudden experience in my life and I had always looked at meditation and Yoga and alternative approaches as hippy and useless stuff. I cannot explain why I lived what I lived few years ago but perhaps what I am living right now is starting to have a better more sense to me but I am still not 100% sure and I hope to understand it soon.
I want to thank you for reading this small attempt to write about my experience although a lot of it cannot be described by words and I hope to continue to write about it very soon when time and my energy levels allow me to do so.
I am happy to receive your comments, advice and guidance and exchange the little knowledge of my energy rising that I have acquired till now with you if it could help you.
Othman Haddad (Otto) – 12/01/2014
Do you find yourself panicking because of a fear that has been haunting you for years?
Fear is a common thing in our society. Some are afraid of snakes, others of ghosts, mice, pigeons and the list goes on. But what strikes more is that, by talking to friends and clients, I realized it is even more common to have panic attacks resulting from fear.
Because I suffered from fear for few years and I experienced panic attacks where I completely lost my mind and control of my senses, I have decided to write this article in an attempt to give you few tips from my own experience with inquiry, Yoga and Sound Therapy work.
Since I could remember I had suffered from a severe fear of ghosts and for years I spent a long time in bed before sleeping reciting all prayers I knew to protect me against those creatures that I was told about when I was a kid.
Going to the loo during the night was an absolute nightmare. I had to avoid disturbing the tranquillity of those ghosts, because my belief was that ‘the day is for men and the night is for ghosts!’ So I had to quickly run through the corridors and press the light switches. At the toilet, even with the light on, I still couldn’t look at the mirror because I was terrified of seeing a ghost reflected in it!
The panic attacks happened in those times of blackouts or when I forgot to top up the electricity card. Waking up during the night in total darkness and knowing that I have no choice but go to the other side of my flat because I need the loo was the most dreadful experience. I used to hear voices repeating my name and having torturing thoughts like: ‘ghosts come after midnight in the toilets’, ‘if you look at the mirror you will see a ghost and he will transform your face forever’.
I had a lot of things going on in my body during those moments of panic that I was not aware of and only few years later I realized that during those terrible moments my body became tense, my breath was very shallow. I used to feel an increase of body temperature, a chill feeling on the back of my head and pain in my joints!
I tried many things to get rid of the intense fear but nothing really worked out well for me until I started inquiring my thoughts. Sound work facilitated and accelerated that process of inquiry as well.
Here is what helped me a lot in those moments of panic:
1. Staying in the body: When the thoughts started coming, I asked myself: ‘where do I feel the fear now?’ and I brought my focus to where I could feel any change in my body: ‘is there any increase of heat somewhere’? ‘Is there any pain in the neck, shoulder, knee etc’? I observed and scanned what was happening. You might think ‘oh all good but during the panic I lose my senses and I cannot focus on my body!’ Yes you are right but as everything else it takes practice, and once you start doing it you realize that it is not only possible but also not that hard as it seems!
By going into the body, I was taking my focus from the thoughts that were torturing me and at the same time I was bringing awareness to those parts of my body that were imbalanced because of fear. This awareness that I had built up was a key for my transformation and helped me find clarity and get out of those moments of panic!
2. Next step was taking risks! For example while in the toilet, I switched off the light and looked at the mirror and observed what was happening again in my body. ‘What do I feel’? I asked myself.
These 2 simple steps felt like not much once I did them, but they were a good start and they might be enough by themselves for you to get rid of that fear! Because, like me, one day you might just wake up and notice that the fear is gone and that nothing bad has happened since you started taking those risks and observing your body.
When started having more clarity around what was happening, I realized that I was attached to false beliefs. I realized as well that the fear had a specific message for me: ‘you are safe here in the now, there is no need to think about the terrible things that might happen’. When I understood the meaning of the message and accepted it, the fear started to transform into something that had a more life-affirming energy to it, something that is called acceptance!
Any activity that brings you to the present moment can help you strengthening your awareness. You can try Yoga, do the work of Byron Katie, or follow the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle and Thich Nhat Hanh.
You can also visit www.ottosoundtherapy.com for more information about how Sound Therapy could facilitate the whole process for you and help you find that clarity that you are looking for.
A lot of love and sound to you and come back next week for another article on this blog.
As a Yoga teacher do you find yourself judgmental against other Yoga traditions different from yours? Do you feel like another style of Yoga cannot be called Yoga and you struggle to accept it?
Let’s consider a couple of scenarios:
Marc has been practicing for a few years the same Yoga tradition oriented to a lot of meditation and just a few Asanas, then he decided to become a Yoga teacher. The more the years pass, the more confident about the effectiveness of his style on him and on his students he becomes. He hasn’t been to a class of any other style of Yoga for a long time.
One of his regular students, Vanessa, told him about a new type of Yoga that she experienced a week ago. He had already heard about that Yoga among his Yoga teachers circle. He heard that "it cannot be called Yoga in itself", "it is all physical", "it is like fitness " and "it has nothing to do with the 8 limbs of Yoga". Ironically Marc now finds more people talking about that new style of Yoga everywhere he goes and in every conversation. He now feels angry about it and every time he reads a comment on social media from one of those ‘fitness’ teachers he feels like he wants to argue and comment that it is wrong but he tries to restrain himself from saying too much in order not to look too invasive and aggressive.
Now Donna is the Yoga teacher of that new type of Yoga. She likes strong Asanas and believes they are good for her. She doesn’t like "those vegetarians", "Guru- like" type of Yoga teachers who have a "boring" practice. When she goes on social media and reads that people are talking about strong Asanas as ‘mindless practice’, she gets angry and frustrated.
Do you find yourself sometimes thinking like Donna or Marc?
Do not worry; even if you are a Yoga teacher, you are a human being! We all tend to disagree with different ways of doing things and defend our beliefs. Even so, those strong thoughts and feelings that we could have, are a gift from the universe and pointers for us to grow in peace and harmony with ourselves and the world.
Next time you feel a resistance inside of you in the form of strong thoughts or emotions, pause for a moment and ask yourself ‘why am I having these reactions?’ Often we see problems that do not exist or are not important; this clouds our judgement and drains our energy.
In his book "Life's missing instruction manual", Joe Vitale wrote: “You will find this hard to believe at first, but everything in your life is just a projection from the shadow side of your mind”.
I know that we all want to change the world and save it, and that Yoga teachers feel this passionately. The good news is that it is possible to create a better world. The other news is that we can only create a better world...for ourselves!
Taking a risk is an excellent way to measure where you are in your process of creating that beautiful world. So this week why don’t you take a risk for your mind and go to a Yoga class that you have never thought you would practice in your life? This experience will maybe teach you not only a few technical things that you didn’t know and that could inspire you to incorporate in your teachings but also a lot about yourself as a person! You can take notes which will help you to do some self-reflection and enhance your own Yoga practice. Sound can also help you to cut right through the layers of the mind and accelerate that transformation process through simple and efficient methods.
We all have different needs and there is no Yoga that can suit everybody’s needs. It is the same with every other thing in life. In Sound Therapy we understand it in terms of frequency: as human beings we all have different frequencies. If I chant a Chakra vowel for 2 people at the same time, one person could feel a resonance in his head; the other person might feel it in the base of the spine! Likewise there is a Yoga that works for one but doesn’t work for another. Instead of arguing, trust that the universe is perfect just the way it is.
I am interested in knowing your thoughts and I am willing to learn from your precious feed-backs.
Namaste and a lot of love and Sound to you.
Visit www.ottosoundtherapy.com and Contact me for a free phone consultation with no commitment to see how Sound Therapy could help you gain the clarity you are looking for in a safe and practical way.